My Apology to you

I realized something tonight. I long to please people. Even though i act like I don't care what people think, deep inside I do. To be honest I have always felt this way. There is nothing that hurts me more than me hurting someone., which i am notorious for doing. I use to be really good at voicing my opinions without tact and without really thinking about who I may offend. I have lost a few friends because of this attribute. I must admit that when I find out that I have offended someone or have hurt someone that it can bother me for days. I truly think Jesus knew there would be people like me when in Matthew 18 he talks about how to settle problems between people. I think Jesus knew there would be people like me who make people upset and need to be approached about it. 

I must admit that I've gotten a lot better and have tried to make amends with people I have wronged in my life. But I still screw up and make people upset. Since being in ministry the last few years I have been approached a lot due to my over talking or just how I do things. Honestly because of this I have grown up a lot. But I feel that there may still be some unresolved situations from my past. Maybe it was a time in my past where I should have been slow to speak or a time when I have done something I shouldn't have. If this is the case with any of you I would love to speak with you and let you know I am sorry for the things I have done. I am honest enough to admit I am not perfect and never will be but I want to be genuine in everything I do 

We serve a God of redemption and grace and I pray that if anything in my past has hurt you  that you know that I truly apologize. I think a big step in my walk with Christ is owning up to my own sin. So I pray that you all accept my apology if I've wronged you.

Love you all
Brent

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace - Ephesians 1:7

Valentines Day

Well it is Valentines Day which means people are ether spending time with the person they cherish or are doing other things in order to make it seem like they do not mind being single. I think on this day we can all think back to a time when we pursued after someone in a romantic way. I know as a guy the pursuit can be one of the most stressful but most rewarding things. Some guys are willing to drop everything in order to pursue a girl that they think is worthy of the pursuit. Now men have been pursuing after woman for as long as humans have been on this earth. I am sure some of you reading this can remember how you were pursued by your husband or boyfriend, or how you pursued after your wife of girlfriend. Now when I think of pursuit I think of the stories by Shakespeare of Romeo and Juliet and Antony and Cleopatra. But what is the greatest story of pursuing after someone ever told?

The greatest pursuit ever told is when God in heaven sent his son to become a man in pursuit of his children. From the fall of man in Genesis we were separated from God because of our sin. But God who loves us above all else longs to not be separated from us. Philippians 2:8 that God humbled himself and became obedient to death on a cross. We see in John 3 that God loved the world that he sent his son to die for us. He didn't send his son into the world to condemn it but to save it.

What greater pursuit is there than that? God who had been separated from those he created because of sin left heaven in order to be united with his children. “Greater love has no other than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”(John 15:13) We have a God who died to be with us. What Pursuit is greater?

On this valentines day remember your first love and the one who loved you enough to come down from heaven to pursue you.

Brent

  

I'm an example?

I am an example.

Those words are honestly scary to me. The idea that someone looks at me as an example just does not make sense. You mean to tell me that a lying, thieving, adulterer is an example. A man who is fake more days than he is real is an example to someone. This blows my mind. I look to scripture and see that Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11 that people should follow his example as he follows the example of Christ. I so badly want to live that life but honestly I am a man who falls more than he stands up. BUT, maybe that is why people sometimes look at people as examples. They look to them because they have already been through it and have learned something along the way that maybe they need to learn.

Maybe the real reason that it scares me to be an example, and probably scares some other people in the world, is that we let our past weigh too much on who we are are currently. I think everyone in some way dislikes their past. Honestly it is hard to live in the present if we are so wrapped up in our past. Just look at Luke 9:62 “But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” This is when Jesus is talking about the cost of following him. He is talking to a man who would rather go back and do some things instead of following Christ. Our past really can hold us back and make us forget to look forward to where God is leading.

Now everyone is different and some people have some things in their past that honestly may be hard to overcome. But it is important to remember that our past is a part of who we are and who we have become in the Lord. Even some of the worst things from our past have been used to shape us and , mold us into the person God wants us to become in Him.

Also remember God can fully heal you and get rid of your past chains if you are willing to believe that he can do it. Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” We must begin to strive ahead and forget what lies behind us. I have made lots of mistakes in life and continue to do so. I think it is also important to accept the fact that no matter who you are or what you have done you will always be an example to someone.

As I close this blog I want to close with one thought. We are going to be an example to someone whether we like it or not so we might as well embrace it in the same manner Paul did in 1 Corinthians.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. Follow my EXAMPLE as I follow the EXAMPLE of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1

Love you all

Brent

Confession 2

So it is a little past 4 in the morning and I still have not gone to bed. Just finished watching the movie “Warrior” which I strongly recommend but this blog is not about that. I just felt like I should write really quick in order to clear my mind before going to bed. So I hope you take the time to read this.

Well I am currently going through a very humbling process and that is a very very good thing. For a while I have been holding things inside. Fears and doubts had taken over my being to the point where I was unsure of what I was supposed to be doing. The people who know me the best know that any time I talk about going to school for something other than Ministry, that, that is when I am struggling the most in my walk with Christ. We serve a personal God who wants to have a personal relationship with each of us yet I thought I could do better than anything God wanted for me. I left seminary because fears and doubts had taken over me. The more I am honest with myself the more I see my pride and sin of self being the main reason I left Texas. Most likely if you had talked to me about it I probably told you that I just didn't feel like that is where God wanted me. But if I am honest with you that is a lie. I just did not want to be there. I felt lonely there because I put no effort in getting to know people. I lost about 40 pounds while there because I was battling inner demons and sin to the point that all I would do is go to class, work and then spend most the rest of the night working out.

I can think back to a conversation I had with one of Pastor friends named Lonnie while I was in Texas and I can remember him telling me on the phone that he felt like I was right where God wanted me to be. But the second I got off the phone with him I was angry and thought it was silly. When in all honesty he was 100 percent honest. I spent a good amount of time yesterday on the phone with my mentor in ministry Ron just confessing some things that he already knew. He lives in Texas so he was right there when I was going through it and he knows me well enough to know when I am struggling. I sat their confessing my sin to him and apologizing for my actions and all I wanted to do was break down in tears. When I was going through the time I would listen to no one even though if I had I wouldn't be writing these blogs.

Tonight I talked to one of my best friends Jeff on the phone and it really hit me just how much God had provided for me when I was down there. A week before I left for Texas I didnt have enough money to get there but God provided money from people that I would never have expected. Then when I was there I got one of the best paying jobs on campus and was able to work up to 40 hours a week. Also my boss gave me everything I needed for my Apartment. I went to Texas with nothing, no bed, dresser, couch. Nothing but what could fit in my car. And again God provided all those when I got there. But yet I told people he did not want me there and in sense forgot all the blessings he had been providing from before I even went there.

So I write this in order to confess my sin to you all. James 5:16 says “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” I hope you all accept my repentance and my apology to you all. This truly is a very humbling process for me and I have many people to still talk to about this but I know there is many I will forget to talk to so that is why I write these confession blogs.

God is continuing to humble me and I long to be in His will above all else. God has truly been piercing my heart a lot recently and I feel like God had a plan and still does for me down in Texas. So I continue to pray and seek him in the decision but it looks like in August I will be moving back down there to finish seminary. I hope my honesty and vulnerability with you all helps you to forgive me for my wrong doing. 

I truly love you all.

Brent


P.S. Its 5am  now and I didnt really read back over this or revise or put commas or other proper punctuation. So I apologize for that if it is hard to read. 

NBA Teams

List of NBA teams and where they rank in my heart. From my favorite to my most hated.

NBA Teams

1. Thunder(Im an old school Sonics fan)
2. Bulls
3. Suns
4. Lakers
5. Mavericks
6. Spurs
7. Knicks
8. Celtics
9. Clippers
10. Kings
11. Raptors
12. Magic
13. Wizards
14. Nets
15. Grizzles
16. Trailblazers
17. Hawks
18. Rockets
19. Bobcats
20. Jazz
21. Pacers
22. Hornets
23. Warriors
24. Timberwolves
25. Nuggets
26. Heat
27. Pistons
28. Cavilers
29. Bucks
30. 76ers

NFL Teams

Just like the list of Baseball teams here is a list of the 32 NFL teams and where each one ranks as far as my like and dislike.

NFL Teams

1. Dolphins
2. 49ers
3. Giants
4. Rams
5. Chiefs
6. Browns
7. Lions
8. Seahawks
9. Falcons
10. Bucs
11. Vikings
12. Cardinals
13. Saints
14. Panthers
15. Ravens
16. Broncos
17. Packers
18. Chargers
19. Raiders
20. Titans
21. Jaguars
22. Bills
23. Colts
24. Texans
25. Bengals
26. Eagles
27. Bears
28. Redskins
29. Cowboys
30. Steelers
31. Jets
32. Patriots

Favorite Baseball Teams

Here is a list of all 30 Baseball Teams and which ones i like the best and worst. Thought about doing this because people keep saying fair weather fans.

Baseball Teams

1. Rockies
2. Royals
3. Rangers
4. Indians
5. Yankees
6. Cubs
7. Orioles
8. Phillies
9. A's
10. Mets
11. Cardinals
12. Braves
13. Pirates
14. Diamondbacks
15. Reds
16. Astros
17. Nationals
18. Marlins
19. Rays
20. Blue Jays
21. Mariners
22. Twins
23. White Sox
24. Tigers
25. Giants
26. Padres
27. Brewers
28. Angels
29. Red Sox
30. Dodgers