So my whole life I have herd the same phrase over and over, "I just expect so much more out of you" And i think it has finally got to the point where I have to ask what are these expectations? I feel as though I can do everything I am asked to do and always get told that I did better then they expected I would do. But then a week later I always hear I expect so much out of you or I expect so much more! I feel as though I am on this higher level that is unreachable. As much as I strive for it and try to do everything above and beyond in a sense I am still not living up to these "expecatations"
This is really starting to weight me down. I view my life as one that should point to Christ and I want to make sure my light focus's on him but when I hear things like this it makes me feel like I am doing everything wrong. I feel as though everyone else can be on this lower level but for me I have to be on this mountain above all others. They say that I have shown this potential but yet I dont continually live up to it.
I am very broken down right now, I feel as though every step I do is wrong and I am not sure what to do about it. I live my life not to please men but to please God in heaven, and not to seek earthly things or earthly fame but its hard when it seems like people are against you even if you feel you are doing right in Gods eyes.
Lord hide me behind the Cross because I am falling fast and this world seems to be against me, make my ways right in your eyes even if they might be wrong in the worlds eyes. Make me live in such a way that if you do not show up I will be in trouble. Lord renew my heart because I am broken!!
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