Honesty....

So recently I have realized that my priorities are really messed up. I have become the person who on the day of judgment would look at God and tell him that I have done things in his name and have cried out holy holy but God’s response would be that he never knew me. It is so simple to look at our lives and see how at times we all fall into these categories. For me I have put so many things ahead of God and even though I still speak his name and even though I try to do things in his name, I am dying. I have begun to scream out but it seems at times like no one hears me. That is because it has always been easier to hide the truth about our hearts. Really think about that, no one in this world wants to be honest with people because honesty brings heartache. People do not take it well and if you are being honest about yourself people at times try to diagnose you and tell you how to get better when a lot of times you just want someone to listen. We have forgot the verse from James 1 that says be slow to speak and quick to listen. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and someone who truly cares. I have to admit that I have been doing things away from God a lot. To be honest I have been lying about how much I have been to church since leaving my last church. I know I am called to ministry and I care about the body but it can be hard because the last church messed me up to the core. This happens a lot but sometimes it can be more difficult then we ever admit.

I also have to admit that it is hard to get honest and true with God when no one around has truly surrendered it all to God. I know people that fight God on the calling in their lives and thus follow their own paths versus God. I know people that have begun to doubt it all because it is much easier to be in pain then to seek and find true joy in something. I know people that are like me that proclaim Gods name but do not mean it at all, and I think we may all fall into this boat. I truly believe that God wants something amazing from us but we are to stuck in our ways. I am to hung up on the fact that at times I believe it is all about me, when all honesty it is all about Christ. I do not deserve any praise but he does, he demands it. Even though we do not like that at times I think the thing that holds me back and everyone back is the idea that we are better then God. We try to make ourselves God, and because of this we do not confess when we are wrong and we do not confess our sins and we put ourselves in this idea of being perfect even though we are broken and falling more apart everyday. This life is hard and no one will ever say it was easy but I do believe that if we get our lives right with Christ even though there will be pain and heartache there will be joy. I do not know how to explain that but I know it is true. I will close this blog with a verse to think about. I love you all, even if you do not believe that.

James 1:22 “Do not merely listen to the words and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.