I have really begun to fall in love with writing. I have been doing it just about everyday now. Who would have thought that a guy like me would have fallen in love with something like writing. Being able to use words to convey feelings and thoughts that one finds hard to say out loud is amazing. This blog I am going to use written words to once again write something that I find hard to admit out loud. Yes this is a blog that is all about me and the inner struggle that no one sees. I am usually a very straight forward person but even the most honest people still hold things inside. So this is me confessing some of the things that only God sees from me.
I decided the title for this note while walking around Wal-Mart at 2 in the morning. That’s right, the inspiration to write this blog came at Wal-Mart. Who says that place isn’t a good place to go to? Anyways, I have recently felt as though I may be struggling with depression. Not really sure why but I have for some reason been unable to sleep. I sit in my bed for about 3 hours before I finally fall asleep. I have to admit that this Depression is all because of myself and not the medical chemical imbalance problems in ones brain.
I feel God has begun to work in me in a way that honestly I was not prepared for. Thus myself has been fighting back very intensely. I know some of you are sitting here reading this and are thinking, “Why would you fight God?” Well honestly in some way or another we all fight God. I mean think about it God calls some people to be single but yet they continue to seek for a mate. Others he has called to the ministry but they fight him and act like their own life pursuit is much better.
Well since I have been fighting back I have just gone into this state of depression. I know God can cure me of it if I just submit to his will and run after his will and not my own. The thing is, Gods will for me is kind of scary. Following God at times feels like walking off a cliff blindfolded hoping that He catches you before you hit the ground. I know that is kind of an extreme example but I am explaining how I feel. Now how it may feel to you when you go through it. Everyone goes through things differently and everyone, even though we have the same emotions, feels things differently.
I pray that my honesty in this shows that I am human and just because I do write some very deep notes at times that I am human. I strive to be more like our Father in Heaven everyday but I come up short just like everyone else. And thankfully I do, because if I did not come up short if I was in my own mind perfect I would have no need for a Savior. Praise Jesus for my imperfection! Well I hope this blog has touched you in some way and I pray that whatever you are dealing with that you are open to admitting them. Accountability is a beautiful thing and it is through it that we can strive to be closer to Christ.
Love You ALL
Brent
P.S. Since I love writing do you think I should actually start grammar checking my notes? I never do that I just write and post.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Are you Like James "the Brother of Jesus"
My last blog hit a subject that I believe effects many believers of Christ and that is the idea of apathy or being complacent to Christ. Since posting that I have gone into a lot deeper thought process on this subject and it made me come to the idea that “Most church people do not have a honest and personal relationship with Christ.” I know some of you read that and you are thinking Brent you are ridiculous that is not true at all. I am going to approach this idea in a way that I hope makes you think deeply about that statement and that I hope challenges you to examine your own heart. Understand everything I write is about something that I myself have been convicted of and something I feels others feel also.
When approaching this I want to look at one main person and that is James the brother of Jesus. Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3 both talk about James and his brothers and sisters as people who took offense to the things that Jesus was doing. You would think that someone who was under the roof of the Christ for most of his life would be a believer. James is said to be the oldest sibling of Christ of course younger then Jesus himself but could have still be very near his age. With this point I make my claim that most church people do not have a honest and personal relationship with Christ. James had the center of church in his home for years. They probably played games together and talked together a lot since they were brothers. But yet when Jesus was out telling people who he was James took offense to this.
I feel that today this how a lot of us are. We are in church every Sunday but yet we do not believe. We know all the truths, we know what it truly means to follow God, we even know some scripture but yet we do not believe. We have seen Christ do miraculous things for some people but yet we still do not believe. It is very easy to say this because if everyone in the church did truly believe then the church would be doing amazing things for God and would be moving faster and farther into the unknown then we have ever known.
The main problem is that people think that they have an alright relationship with Christ because they go every week. Honestly that’s not true because without the repentance and without honestly following God we are doomed. James himself talks about that even the demons believe in one god and shudder.(James 2:19) We have become very set in our ways and because of this a lot of times we do not even know that we are like James. It took Jesus himself appearing to James after his resurrection for him to truly believe.
For those of you who are reading this I want you to earnestly look into your heart. Look and see if you are like James. See if you have been the one who has been in Church but yet honestly deep down never believed in the one who offers salvation to all who call on his name. (Please talk to me if you have anymore questions about this I would love to talk with you or take out to lunch if you want to talk more.) Also I want everyone to look and see what it is that you need to give up to truly do what God wants you to do.
I envision a world that has stepped up and pursue God in such a way that everyone who encounters them must also encounter Christ. Let us step up and Worship God the way he longs to see us Worship. Let us immerse ourselves in His Word and Pray without ceasing. Let us be like James after he encountered the risen Christ and take a stand even if that means be martyred like he was.
When approaching this I want to look at one main person and that is James the brother of Jesus. Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3 both talk about James and his brothers and sisters as people who took offense to the things that Jesus was doing. You would think that someone who was under the roof of the Christ for most of his life would be a believer. James is said to be the oldest sibling of Christ of course younger then Jesus himself but could have still be very near his age. With this point I make my claim that most church people do not have a honest and personal relationship with Christ. James had the center of church in his home for years. They probably played games together and talked together a lot since they were brothers. But yet when Jesus was out telling people who he was James took offense to this.
I feel that today this how a lot of us are. We are in church every Sunday but yet we do not believe. We know all the truths, we know what it truly means to follow God, we even know some scripture but yet we do not believe. We have seen Christ do miraculous things for some people but yet we still do not believe. It is very easy to say this because if everyone in the church did truly believe then the church would be doing amazing things for God and would be moving faster and farther into the unknown then we have ever known.
The main problem is that people think that they have an alright relationship with Christ because they go every week. Honestly that’s not true because without the repentance and without honestly following God we are doomed. James himself talks about that even the demons believe in one god and shudder.(James 2:19) We have become very set in our ways and because of this a lot of times we do not even know that we are like James. It took Jesus himself appearing to James after his resurrection for him to truly believe.
For those of you who are reading this I want you to earnestly look into your heart. Look and see if you are like James. See if you have been the one who has been in Church but yet honestly deep down never believed in the one who offers salvation to all who call on his name. (Please talk to me if you have anymore questions about this I would love to talk with you or take out to lunch if you want to talk more.) Also I want everyone to look and see what it is that you need to give up to truly do what God wants you to do.
I envision a world that has stepped up and pursue God in such a way that everyone who encounters them must also encounter Christ. Let us step up and Worship God the way he longs to see us Worship. Let us immerse ourselves in His Word and Pray without ceasing. Let us be like James after he encountered the risen Christ and take a stand even if that means be martyred like he was.
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